What am i suppose to do?

Just when you think things are okay...You get thrown a curve ball. Do you try and swing taking your chances or do you let it fly by?

I hate being put in tough positions...my curve ball is do i let Bryan deploy or throw a tantrum. I have tried to numb myself tried to be positive, but this choice is making me sick to my stomach. I am upset about this choice. i thought i would be okay with it but i'm not. but what do you do when it's your husbands life? how do you find a balance with this one? it is his life but my life and his daughters life....
where is the balance? This one definetaly calls for trust in our lord and have faith that things will go according to his plan. not mine.... I am not happy with this dilema but i will be supportive.
I want to go back home if he does deploy. My problem is if i go back home i can't cry when i want to but at the same time i can't be alone again. I've used up all my strength.
I feel like i have to sacrifice even more now because my family needs me and my husbands family needs him but i have to take his place until he comes home. i feel like i can't handle dealing with other peoples situations right now. i'm fighting my own personal battle. but the same time i have to do it for my daughter and the rest of the family. my daughter deserves to know some of her family. ugh! sick to my stomach.......