so today i had a tough day with my daughter. She is teething so you can imagine. but it wasn't as bad as yesterday and the day before. today she woke up around 6am and wouldn't take a nap until 12pm. so it ws a long morning. I really love my little girl. She is now 8 months and she is the strongest 8 month i have seen. she is already climbing up on things and she absolutely loves me. I can tell. i absolutely love her smile and her giggles.lol they make my day. she alway wants to be with me and climbs on me alot! to think its only the beginning.lol

We finally went to church this sunday....i thought i was going to feel awkward and like i didn't fit in cause of a few things, but i felt at home! how suprised was I?? it def lit my fire again. Made me forget everything that was going wrong with my life. it made it feel even more like home because my husband was with me and he just turned me on by how he interacted with people at church. idk....i guess that is who we really are and can't fight it. at least for me anyways, i've tried to live on both sides of the fence cause i had a side of me that wanted out. i would never let it out before cause you are always taught that its wrong. i haven't drank or smoked. but its wearing sexy ass clothes and going clubbing!!!! it just makes me feel good! but i am fighting that temptation.

I've been a little stressed because i felt like my husband didn't really care that i was in the home with him. he would come home and get straight onto COD BLOPS. alwasy with his brothers or friends....i was frustrated because i was lonely without being alone. all i had was facebook and texting to my sisters but that wasn't the attention i wanted. i wanted my husband.
i would try and watch him play his games, but i also ask a lot of questions as well and i know it irritates him. but how else am i suppose to be involved. i also get overwhelmed with his swearing. I love the man to death but his swearing really upsets me even when i try to ignore it. My dad was the same way though......
we use to go to bed together but for a while there we weren't. he would stay up til 2am playing this game. then he wouldn't even kiss me or say goodnight. he would just get into bed.

BUT the past two nights have been perfect or at least something that made me happy. :) he took the time and watched Veronica Mars with me. he went almost a week without getting on that game. I let him tonight because he has to have his time too! and i really appreciated the two nigts that i did get....
it has made me happy so tonight i had dressed up sexy and was going to make it his night, it still is his night but not the way i planned.

i think our relationship is healing......slowely but surely......i really love him and just keep reminding myself that we are going through MAJOR CHANGES both of us, and it will simmer into one big pot of delicious soup!