Two thoughts

Have you ever wondered how to have the perfect life? what would your perfect life be? There are so many things on my mind that just makes me even more grateful that i am who i am. Do i have mixed feelings, of course. But i decided that i enjoy being by myself and not so close to family. Don't get me wrong, i love being with my family here and there, but when your by yourself you learn about who you are and want to be. you learn about what you want to succeed in and not worry as much about the way family looks at you even if you made a choice that wasn't the best and you don't have anyone to say i told you so a million times. I think the trick is to keep your failures to yourself and try again a different way.
I think its crazy how people blame their parents for their life going crappy. You were given free agency and you have the choice to turn your life around and not live the life your parents lived and who said that their way of life was so bad, i mean for myself I've had fun and love having family values maybe as a child i felt so picked on and had to pull my weight in the family, but it has taught me a lot. I grew up poor and my Mom had to have two jobs to help out, and the least i could do is help be responsible and babysit or help clean the house. I mean i lived in the house too. I love the way i was raised and i really did learn responsibility. Sometimes your parents make mistakes so we can learn from them too, but a lot of people think well you did it so let me learn for myself. Fine. If that's what you want to do, but i trust my parents and if they say something isn't right then it probably isn't right. I mean i am human and i haven't always followed what my parents have said, but all in all, i think they have it right. I've always wanted to raise a strong family my way. Where the gospel is the center but not so intense that that is all we believe, I want my children to be raised in confidence in themselves and know that they don't have to do certain things to be the best and fit in. That they can be the best and still enjoy the world. I want them to be so confident that they don't try and fit in with the people around them, but the people will want to try and fit in with them. I want to raise them so they see the positive side of life no matter what trials may come. I know they are going to have to see and live some horrible experiences but i hope that they aren't so bad that they blame God for their issues and instead just have an open heart and say ok, i can deal with this. I hope i can have an honest relationship with my children and raise them with understanding that as much as I love them, they have to deal with the consequence of their choices and that their choices can be a life time affect. I don't want my children to be brain washed with what i believe but i do want them to have respect for what i believe. and i will do my best to respect what they believe even if its not what is technically right. That is how they learn about who they are and who they want to be. I hope that my children will be their best and accepting to situations that come into their life. WE are hitting really hard times where morals and values are going down the drain. I feel it in myself, but i am determined to stand up for who i am and who i want to be. I know i can do anything i want as long as i am grateful.

just another day

Well today not much has happened. i was feeling really sick last night but got over it fast. I found out when my Husband was coming home for R&R and I'm really excited about it. I have a few romantic ideas even though they are more for me and my husband just wants to see me. He is my paradise. Today i wen shopping for some sexy items that he is just going to love!! I also reserved the hotel room. Not too much longer though! I love him sooo much.

Today

Today was a good day for me because i spent it with my grandma. I wemt up to my grandma's house then went shopping! i am a pro at shopping! I am trying to spend as much time with her because you never know how much time someone has in this world. I am pretty sure she has a lot more years on her because she is a very strong woman inside. It is great to see her happy when someone is around her. I feel aweful because she is sooo alone. My Grandpa and Aunt Shawna passed away and they were her world for the longest time. My family is really busy in their own lives to go visit all the time.
I then came home and My best friend Kristy and I went to the gym. I am determined to keep my weight down for my wonderful husband. I have so many sweet things planned for when he comes home!! I get all choked up thinking about how its going to feel to be touched by him again and feel his sweet kisses!! I miss everything about him. As much as i complain, i even miss when he comes home from PT in the morning all sweaty and gives me hugs!! blagh!! I can't believe how much i miss him. but in almost less than a month he will be here!! When he gets home for good we are going to take our basic classes together. well anyways, another wonderful day in my life

Mixed Emotions

Well, i haven't wrote in a very long time in my own journal and many things have happened. I am the wife of one of the most wonderful soldiers we have. We were married May 9th, 2003 and have had many adventures together. WE are currently living in Bamberg Germany and have been able to travel Europe. I never thought i would have that oppertunity. We don't have any children yet but its ok because i don't think we would have done as much as we have done if we did have children. It's not that we don't want them, we are just having fun.lol

My husband is currently deployed, and i have come back home to be with my family. I made it through the first deployment by myself, but this time it has been harder. I don't know if its because of what has happened during my first experience with a deployment but it is hard. Everyone told me the second one is always harder.

I have mixed emotions all the time because its just not fun being without your best friend. You try and be happy for other people when they get to be with their loved one's because it's not their fault you picked this lifestyle, but it does make it hard when you see other people you grew up with having their husbands and having children with them. But once again, its not their fault. It might not sound like it but i am really grateful for my lifestyle. Do you know how many Honeymoons i get in a lifetime? Do you know how much appreciation i have learned? Do you know how much i have learned about myself? Do you know how much i have progressed in my life? There are many many things that i absolutely think i have the best life even with the bumps and blows. I have learned how to be optimistic to the best of my ability and hope i can continue. Military life combined with LDS Lifestyle is a tough one, but i know that we can do it because there are many other people that have made it. Without our beliefs i might be a little bit more pessimistic towards things. Anyways, Life is great today! and i can't wait to see my honey.