Mixed Emotions

Well, i haven't wrote in a very long time in my own journal and many things have happened. I am the wife of one of the most wonderful soldiers we have. We were married May 9th, 2003 and have had many adventures together. WE are currently living in Bamberg Germany and have been able to travel Europe. I never thought i would have that oppertunity. We don't have any children yet but its ok because i don't think we would have done as much as we have done if we did have children. It's not that we don't want them, we are just having fun.lol

My husband is currently deployed, and i have come back home to be with my family. I made it through the first deployment by myself, but this time it has been harder. I don't know if its because of what has happened during my first experience with a deployment but it is hard. Everyone told me the second one is always harder.

I have mixed emotions all the time because its just not fun being without your best friend. You try and be happy for other people when they get to be with their loved one's because it's not their fault you picked this lifestyle, but it does make it hard when you see other people you grew up with having their husbands and having children with them. But once again, its not their fault. It might not sound like it but i am really grateful for my lifestyle. Do you know how many Honeymoons i get in a lifetime? Do you know how much appreciation i have learned? Do you know how much i have learned about myself? Do you know how much i have progressed in my life? There are many many things that i absolutely think i have the best life even with the bumps and blows. I have learned how to be optimistic to the best of my ability and hope i can continue. Military life combined with LDS Lifestyle is a tough one, but i know that we can do it because there are many other people that have made it. Without our beliefs i might be a little bit more pessimistic towards things. Anyways, Life is great today! and i can't wait to see my honey.