Do you know what my husband has done for me this weekend!!
He is more than you will ever know!! i can't express how much i love him. This weekend i was in extraordinary pain. i couldn't sleep and it put me in tears. Now my husband already has a stressful job and i really felt so bad about taking away his weekend. But he shows me soooo much love already but this weekend the way he took care of me was extremely a perfect love that i don't want to forget. That is why i am blogging it. :)
at 3 in the morning i couldn't sleep cause when i would lay down, the pain in my left face would just kill me i almost made him take me to the klinkum because of it. Anyways, i was exhausted and he got up ready to take me. then he did the most romantic thing ever!! He sat on the bed sitting up and told me to come sit in his arms. He held me and rocked me to sleep sitting up in the bed. I don't ever want toloose that image. He gave me sleep. i can't believe how much of a healer he is. Then on top of that, he let me sleep the next day when i didn't have time because i was throwing a party that night!! i am too prideful to cancel anything cause all of us have been looking forward to it for weeks!!! anyways, he cleaned my house, he made food, he just spoiled the crap out of me!! and i don't know how to return the favor to him!!! On top of that!! he didn't go out drinking like i expected!!! i mean he had a couple of beers but they said it was too boring!!! so they went over to my friend sabrina's house and played Wii until my party was done. That party was soo fun! i was nervous cause i was hurting and the people i invited were from work and FRG.lol what a combo.
I don't know, even with all the pain...I still couldn't stress over things because i have the perfect man helping me through...I love you B.M.E
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
another ARGH moment
I have two things i want to talk about...
Did you ever have one of those dreams that you just flipped out in and it causes you to wake up pissy and makes you want to push people away....
also, i am soo overwhelmed right now!!! So this is what is bothering me, My Grandma Rushton....I am trying to see this in a positive perspective but no matter what, i just get this bad feeling about her.....So I have been trying to have a better relationship with my MOm's mom by emailing her or leaving little comments on facebook (why is facebook always involved with my drama.lol). She has not responded to any of them so i came to terms with it. Things are what they are right! Well now she found out my mom is coming to germany to visit me and the baby, and all of a sudden my grandma Rushton wants to come??? I think and feel that she is trying to take this special moment away from my mom. To be honest i don't really want to see my grandma Rushton unless we go down to Arizona. There is just something about her that is off, but she isn't the first person to give me that feeling.
I feel the same thing about Bryan's Aunt Sherri. She is fortunate enough to travel, but i feel like she is going to rub into Bryan's Mom's face and i know i have my issues about Chris, but Chris is who she is and she gave me Bryan. Chris is going through a lot right now and i don't know what is true and what isn't but still this is Chris;s Grandbaby and i want my parents and Bryans family to be the first to see Ellie. I don't know i am probably just being pestamistic because of hormones and the stupid dream that i had.lol
I just want to sleep all day........
Did you ever have one of those dreams that you just flipped out in and it causes you to wake up pissy and makes you want to push people away....
also, i am soo overwhelmed right now!!! So this is what is bothering me, My Grandma Rushton....I am trying to see this in a positive perspective but no matter what, i just get this bad feeling about her.....So I have been trying to have a better relationship with my MOm's mom by emailing her or leaving little comments on facebook (why is facebook always involved with my drama.lol). She has not responded to any of them so i came to terms with it. Things are what they are right! Well now she found out my mom is coming to germany to visit me and the baby, and all of a sudden my grandma Rushton wants to come??? I think and feel that she is trying to take this special moment away from my mom. To be honest i don't really want to see my grandma Rushton unless we go down to Arizona. There is just something about her that is off, but she isn't the first person to give me that feeling.
I feel the same thing about Bryan's Aunt Sherri. She is fortunate enough to travel, but i feel like she is going to rub into Bryan's Mom's face and i know i have my issues about Chris, but Chris is who she is and she gave me Bryan. Chris is going through a lot right now and i don't know what is true and what isn't but still this is Chris;s Grandbaby and i want my parents and Bryans family to be the first to see Ellie. I don't know i am probably just being pestamistic because of hormones and the stupid dream that i had.lol
I just want to sleep all day........
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sick of People!!!
people really really really bother me!!!!!
Maybe it is just my hormones! but it bothers me that i worry about people and think they need caring for!
When reality...people don't care if you care!
So Yesterday my neighbor FINALLY left!! she pissed me off soooooo freakin bad!! i did soooo much for her, i've known her for 4 years and she would only call if she needed something and i would always drop what i was doing and help her out! YOu know what she didn't do for me! which sounds sooo freakin stupid, but she didn't buy me a baby gift. I spent money on her kids birthdays, her friends kids birthdays, i babysat when her and her husband were argueing, i took her grocery shopping every week, took her to the dental clinic off post which wasn't close just for her kid so she wouldn't get him taken away from her! took care of her garbage! and on top of that!! i helped her friends out when she asked!! I tried to be christian and tell myself its okay cause she is going through a lot of crap right now, she is getting a divorce, but that didn't suprise me cause she is a bitch to him!! She is just trashy! she was complaining to me about how he was cheating on her while he was down range, but she also probably doesn't remember telling me about how before he left, that she never wanted to have sex with him or be with him, so why wouldn't he want to be with someone that cares about him. And aparently she hasn't been inoccent either!! she mentioned she had a guy waiting for her when she gets back to the states so what is she complaining about!!! her Husband came back needing some mental help and she said she would stay with him if he got help, but not once did she say she would go with him or support him. It was all on him!! That is a doom sign to me!! i would never let Bryan go through that alone, its not humane! No matter how big of a jerk he was!!! And everything is his fault!!! its all her husbands fault!!! You could tell with her that she wanted out from the beginning they got here to germany!! Anyways, you want to know what her last words were to me before she left...Nothing! Not even thank you for helping me. Her last words were written on a napkin with a bunch of crap saying "Marie please give these to Tia" Well, at least she said please....Not even a knock on the door to let me say goodbye to the kids. oh well, she is going to make it far!!
Do you want to hear something else that bothers the crap out of me!!!
I do a lot for Bryan's side of the family!! I get jealous of my own husband because if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't call his family as much as he does!! So last night i told Bryan we should call to check on his mom, did he do it? no, i did!! and who does she respond too.....Bryan.lol If it wasn't for me, No one on his side would get birthday cards, presents, hellos or what not!!! and everyone thinks Bryan does it on his own!!!!!!!lol isn't that just soooooo silly that i feel that way! jealous of my own husbands relationship with his family!! i don't even do those things for my own side!! i mean yeah i call but i don't even get a phone call from my own mom!! why do i concintrate soooo much on his side, when i don't really matter to them. I'm just another person in the family. I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but it would be nice for a little recognition. argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no more i guess!!!!!!! '
i am sick of people!!!!!
Maybe it is just my hormones! but it bothers me that i worry about people and think they need caring for!
When reality...people don't care if you care!
So Yesterday my neighbor FINALLY left!! she pissed me off soooooo freakin bad!! i did soooo much for her, i've known her for 4 years and she would only call if she needed something and i would always drop what i was doing and help her out! YOu know what she didn't do for me! which sounds sooo freakin stupid, but she didn't buy me a baby gift. I spent money on her kids birthdays, her friends kids birthdays, i babysat when her and her husband were argueing, i took her grocery shopping every week, took her to the dental clinic off post which wasn't close just for her kid so she wouldn't get him taken away from her! took care of her garbage! and on top of that!! i helped her friends out when she asked!! I tried to be christian and tell myself its okay cause she is going through a lot of crap right now, she is getting a divorce, but that didn't suprise me cause she is a bitch to him!! She is just trashy! she was complaining to me about how he was cheating on her while he was down range, but she also probably doesn't remember telling me about how before he left, that she never wanted to have sex with him or be with him, so why wouldn't he want to be with someone that cares about him. And aparently she hasn't been inoccent either!! she mentioned she had a guy waiting for her when she gets back to the states so what is she complaining about!!! her Husband came back needing some mental help and she said she would stay with him if he got help, but not once did she say she would go with him or support him. It was all on him!! That is a doom sign to me!! i would never let Bryan go through that alone, its not humane! No matter how big of a jerk he was!!! And everything is his fault!!! its all her husbands fault!!! You could tell with her that she wanted out from the beginning they got here to germany!! Anyways, you want to know what her last words were to me before she left...Nothing! Not even thank you for helping me. Her last words were written on a napkin with a bunch of crap saying "Marie please give these to Tia" Well, at least she said please....Not even a knock on the door to let me say goodbye to the kids. oh well, she is going to make it far!!
Do you want to hear something else that bothers the crap out of me!!!
I do a lot for Bryan's side of the family!! I get jealous of my own husband because if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't call his family as much as he does!! So last night i told Bryan we should call to check on his mom, did he do it? no, i did!! and who does she respond too.....Bryan.lol If it wasn't for me, No one on his side would get birthday cards, presents, hellos or what not!!! and everyone thinks Bryan does it on his own!!!!!!!lol isn't that just soooooo silly that i feel that way! jealous of my own husbands relationship with his family!! i don't even do those things for my own side!! i mean yeah i call but i don't even get a phone call from my own mom!! why do i concintrate soooo much on his side, when i don't really matter to them. I'm just another person in the family. I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but it would be nice for a little recognition. argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no more i guess!!!!!!! '
i am sick of people!!!!!
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