Pet Peeve..

guess what it is.lol

So we were asked to write letters to Floyds attorney saying what we saw different in him.

My mother in law posted what she wrote on the family site and is going to pull the poor me my sons went to iraq!

So what is wrong with this statement?? she used the words SONS and IRAQ in the same sentance. Bryan is the only one who went to Iraq!! that bothers the crap out of me! first off His older brother didn't make it into the the military cause he quit before signing anything, His other brother got kicked out of the military and was with a nondeployable unit.lol She said this to get points for disability! ugh! so disgusted with it!
Oh well i guess Karma will not like her trying to take advantage of America. Karma is already getting them for how they behaved and treated people before and now they can't hack it! but who knows what they have done to change. Everyone deserves happiness and i hope they eventually find a different way of finding it.

Favorite Scriptures

“The Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

" Therefore cheer up your hearts and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves-to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life." (2 nephi 10:23)

I think i've got it!

I think i have got the hang of being a mother. It is not as exhausting as some people say it is. Maybe i was more prepared than i thought i was.
Yes i did have a few hard times but it wasn't because of having a baby. The baby actually made things better for me. I have someone who needs me to hold them and give love. Someone who observes everything i do with in her eyesight. I love how she tries to mimic my words with her mouth.lol She doesn't make to many sounds but she is getting there. She does watch my mouth and tries to move her mouth like me. It's amazing how such an amazing gift was given to me.
I guess the best part is i have someone to hold and cuddle.
lastnight i was giving her a bath and talking with her (she loves the water! i love it!! she is just sooo cute! it makes you laugh and smile), but Her daddy came in and i told him to hoo at her. so he did. She ACTUALLY responded back to him. she did little whoo's back it was the cutest response ever! THAT IS a moment i won't forget!
She won't go to sleep unless you are with her.lol and when you are with her you have to close your eyes too. She spies on you.lol it is sooo cute and funny. She stays awake just enough to make sure you don't put her down. You learn to read her though. My little Ellie! MY PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL THAT MEANS MORE TO ME THAN ANYONE WILL EVER KNOW. MY LITTLE ELLA LALLAINE EVANS

Outside

Today was a whole lot better because the SUN was out!! i got my Vitamin D dose that i needed very desperetly. Ellie and I spent almost all day out in the sun! i can't wait til i get to the states and have my own yard. i could just spend hours outside reading my scriptures or something uplifting while sitting on a blanket. I use to do it all the time as a teenager. This time i will have my own little girl to go outside with and play. I just want to be outside all the time with someone that i don't have to talk with but we can just sit there and enjoy life.
I miss being in my teenage years. i feel like that was when i felt like i knew who i was and what i wanted in life. It didn't bother me what people thought about me accept for my parents. Back then i knew who i was.lol i felt more confident in my choices and didn't feel challenged cause i had my feet where i wanted them. So what happened?? Why did i become so needy of people's opinions of myself? why did I all of a sudden feel like i need to be accepted by everyone? No confidence anymore.... Maybe one day i will know who i am again. Things change as you grow and go through different stages of life. I don't feel like i am that interesting anymore or maybe it's because i don't have anything in common with anyone like i did growing up. I don't know.I guess i am just bored with life right now..i'm stuck in LIMBO cause once again we have to wait for the military to choose our next journey. well get us started at least.

Inner Peace

Inner Peace: This is so true



If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs

Well...i guess i have alot of work to get inner peace.lol

Today

Today is a decent day. I am just sitting at home doing a lot of thinking about everything i want to do in my life. So far i have accomplished a lot for myself but now i have a little one that gets to join me in the adventures god throws at me. I think Bryan and I are more in love than we ever have been. I absolutely love how he interacts with his daughter. I am glad he isn't deploying. At first, i wanted him to deploy because it would make him happy cause that is a piece of who he is, but greatful that we get a chance to be a family.
I think all of this has made us stronger as a family spiritually. No we don't attend church regularly, no we don't go do temple sessions, no we don't do a lot of what the typical mormon family is suppose to be doing but i have noticed that we have more love for each other as friends and spouses than i see in a lot of people and that to me makes it a perfect relationship. I am not saying that has anything to do with religion but it does have it's place in our happiness. I am glad i have something positive to look at when there is so much crap going on around me.

Lies lies lies....

I just think how funny it is that everyone around my mother in law is telling lies about her according to her.lol

Is that honestly possible?? I mean me personally, there has to be at least one honest person out of the bunch that is "telling lies"

According to our family history, everyone has lied about her except for Bryan and Laura. Well Bryan never talks and pays for her food, house, etc so why would she bite his hand, and laura is her only daughter.lol and you don't want to fight with laura because laura stands her ground and bites twice as hard ( in a good way).

I hate having mixed emotions about my mother in law cause she is Bryans mother. There are days where i think geez i should show her more respect and other days i'm just thinking who is she i don't get her?? Too many mixed stories from her. then when confronted she doesn't know what anyone is talking about.lol Maybe she just needs more mental help than what she is gettting.

all in all i am just so greatful for Bryan and i miss him soo much!! i can't imagine being without him. i feel like i still have such a school girl crush on him!!

DEPRESSION

depressed depressed depressed!!!!!
I've been depressed before but not to this extent.....
I have nothing to be depressed about......
great friends, great husband, great daughter, great life.....
So why am i so depressed??
it's got to be the weather! you can't do anything in this weather. or maybe the fact that i have so many people around me yet, there is no one....everyone has their own problems so why should they entertain me?
I think i need a garden, a home, a yard, someone......
I can't talk to my husband because he has his own things going on and like i said before, i don't know why i feel this way.
Maybe i should go excersise.