Outside

Today was a whole lot better because the SUN was out!! i got my Vitamin D dose that i needed very desperetly. Ellie and I spent almost all day out in the sun! i can't wait til i get to the states and have my own yard. i could just spend hours outside reading my scriptures or something uplifting while sitting on a blanket. I use to do it all the time as a teenager. This time i will have my own little girl to go outside with and play. I just want to be outside all the time with someone that i don't have to talk with but we can just sit there and enjoy life.
I miss being in my teenage years. i feel like that was when i felt like i knew who i was and what i wanted in life. It didn't bother me what people thought about me accept for my parents. Back then i knew who i was.lol i felt more confident in my choices and didn't feel challenged cause i had my feet where i wanted them. So what happened?? Why did i become so needy of people's opinions of myself? why did I all of a sudden feel like i need to be accepted by everyone? No confidence anymore.... Maybe one day i will know who i am again. Things change as you grow and go through different stages of life. I don't feel like i am that interesting anymore or maybe it's because i don't have anything in common with anyone like i did growing up. I don't know.I guess i am just bored with life right now..i'm stuck in LIMBO cause once again we have to wait for the military to choose our next journey. well get us started at least.